Whilst being pregnant I was faced with an overwhelming amount of info to process due to reading so many pregnancy books and mags. I finished up getting very irritated by a number of the things I was reading (and stupidly this didn't stop me from doing so).

While it is good to have some notion of what kind of mummy you need to be, and what sort of birth you would like to have, I suspect it is absolutely ludicrous to communicate about something with such conviction when could have never even done it before! Certainly you are just setting yourself up for a massive fall? While some people are lucky enough for things to turn out just the way in which they planned, for most folks that isn't the actuality. Your birth might have problems , you may not have sufficient time to use real diapers all of the time, and you can fight with breastfeeding and you won't be the sole ones to do it.

I didn't realize how many awful pressures women put on one another during pregnancy, being so judgemental of one another appeared to be exceedingly common placed. My approach to my pregnancies, and births, was to take it how it comes. Attempt to remain open-minded and search out the information of executives who've more experience than random folks who you do not even know. I never ever wrote a birth plan either time! I had complications with my first so did not see the point in writing one for my second. I had a sketchy idea of what I wanted but was happy to adapt if advised/needed.

The epidural debate is another thing that gets on my nerves! Should we not be supporting each other and not competing for the toughest mother award? (there's not one by the – I checked). I realise that some feel strongly that childbirth is the most natural thing in the world and that girls have been doing it unassisted for hundreds of years, but lets face it – it hurts – a lot – and medication has developed since that time and there are that many options available to us now. Everyone has a different pain threshold level (the midwife when I was having my 2nd was surprised at how calm I was – she said she was climbing the walls at 7cm – thank you Tens Machine!), some labours are only an hour or 2 long some are much more (I am in the second class with both of mine), each single birth is dissimilar so why should we put such strain on one another for them all to be the same? If you feel like the discomfort is too intolerable, then have an epidural or whatever it is that you need. I don't like the hideous stigma that choosing one somehow suggests you're not as deserving as the mummy next to you who is fine with just breathing thru the agony. I say this as a ma who did not have an epidural – I won't judge you if you do, and nor should any other person. The help is there for you if you need it – why make yourself suffer because of the views of others?

People must realise that surprising things often happen during childbirth (i know this from extensive experience). Unhappily it doesn't always go to plan and having an unfettered mind would be a big advantage at these times. If things don’t go to plan and you need any type of help it does not make you a screw-up. But having said that I continue to hope that everything goes to plan and you get the birth that you want. While I respect that everyone has entitlement to their own opinions/beliefs, we also entitled to our own – and I don't believe we ought to be ignoring them.

Emma Smith is a mum of 2 who writes a pregnancy blog on PrenatalCareAtHome.com